The Snow Killer Read online

  The Snow Killer

  By Melissa Holden

  © Melissa Holden 2013. All rights reserved.

  ISBN 978-1-291-84742-0

  Dedication:

  For Victoria and Paul, thank you for everything.

  PS: Thanks for the pasta.

  About the author:

  Melissa Holden is an undergraduate at Canterbury Christ Church University (Creative and Professional Writing BA Hons). As well as studying at university, Melissa is also an Editor for CCCU Her Campus.

  She is originally from Dartford, Kent where she grew up but has since moved to Canterbury in order to study.

  Alongside her writing, Melissa is a supporter and member of the movement Indie Books Be Seen which helps indie authors’ work together to promote self-publishing.

  Melissa has been writing professionally since 2012, but has been an avid writer, reader and general creative her entire life. She is a big supporter of self-promotion and encouraging up-and-coming creatives to get their names out there. This book was inspired by a love of words; the need to write; and a cold day in October when tea didn’t fill the emptiness.

  A note from the author:

  “The Snow Killer” is the very true story of a fictional man. The events aren’t real but the emotions certainly are.

  The book is set in a warped version of Canterbury, Kent.

  5 Winston Close is a real address, in fact, it is the very house I lived in when I wrote The Snow Killer. However, I have changed the layout to match the needs of the plot. Westgate Drive doesn’t exist, but the house does, at least in my mind it does. Please keep in mind when reading this book (especially if you have ever been to Canterbury) that the places do exist – I’ve just changed them to fit the story.

  I would also like to add, that the characters face every day torments and emotional issues. Beside more dramatic aspects of the narrative, they are ordinary people, and they will react like them. From this moment on, they are real people with real emotions.

  Thank you for reading this book: you have made my day just by picking it up.

  Melissa Holden’s other titles:

  From Me, With Love

  The Little Things

  52 Writing Prompts

  Drowsy In Dreams

  Searching For Katherine

  After Us

  Prologue:

  Sara grabbed the lunch bags from the table and yelled to her children. “Danny, Emily. Get in the car. Oh, and Daniel: you’re driving. You need to practice before Thursday.”

  The teenage boy skulked down the stairs and moaned, “Why do I have to drive?”

  “You have you’re test coming up, and I’m tired. So go get in the car.” Sara smiled and turned away from her son to give Emily her bag, “Here you are sweetie, and do you have everything?”

  “Yes, mum. Oh, can Robyn come round tonight? We have study group?” Emily beamed at her mother.

  “Of course you can, now go get in the car: your brother is driving.” Sara pointed her daughter out of the kitchen and to the car. She locked the front door and stood on the front step, watching her children argue. She didn’t care. It was snowing.

  “OK everyone, buckle up, and let’s see if Danny’s gotten any better since the last time we tried this.” Sara put her handbag near her feet and lent back, closing her eyes for a moment.

  “The last time we tried this there wasn’t snow everywhere. The roads will be a nightmare.” Danny put the car in gear and backed out of the drive.

  Chapter One:

  "No, sweetheart, my, err, boyfriend will be here soon. Keep the drink, and leave me alone, will you? ". The blonde swiveled around on the bar stool, and giggled with her friend. Pissed, Danny walked out of the bar, zipped up his hoodie, and turned the corner. Stupid cow, who does she think she is? I'm a great guy. I don't need her. I could get any bitch I wanted. She's not even that nice looking, I prefer brunettes anyway. Fucking bitch. Stuck up: that's what she is...He could feel the anger consuming his body. It started, as always, in his eyes: they blurred with rage, and the world became an abstract painting through a pane of wet glass. His head started to burn beneath the skin, and his breath was the cloud of smoke escaped from an overheated microwave meal for one. He shoved his icicles into his pockets, crossed the road, and hid under the bus shelter. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. The blood in his veins raced around his body. Pump. Pump. Pump. Just breathe. For fuck sake, I'm fine. Rush. Rush. Rush.

  "Do you have a light, babe?" A platinum and orange mess in a leopard print coat smiled at him, a cigarette hanging from the left side of her mouth. He handed her a lighter, and returned to the pocket. She curved her hand around the end of the cigarette, and lit the nicotine-filled stick. She went to hand the lighter back, but

  "I've quit. Effective immediately." He studied his shoelaces, black, shiny things, ragged at the ends from never being off the ground.

  Pump. Rush. Pump. Rush. Pump. Rush.

  "Each to their own." She smiled, and shifted slightly, as to face him more. "You know, you’re not that bad to look at. For a kid, like." Gratitude escaped from his lips. Fuck, what do I care; she's just some old bird anyway. Who gives a fuck what she thinks?

  "Listen, kid, I'm feeling good today. What do say to a drink over the road?"

  "No, thanks, lady. I just left there. It's shit."

  "Yeah, but at least it's warm" She smiled at him again, and then held out her hand. "Diane Warner."

  "Danny Fores."

  "Well, alright then Danny-boy, let's go get smashed, eh?" She laughed, took his arm, and dragged him across the road. She's friendly at least. I'll give her that. Bit common though...As they entered the pub, Danny noticed the blonde was still perched prettily on her stool. He excused himself, and approached her. Rush. Rush. Rush. Keep it cool, no need to freak out.

  "Hi."

  "Oh, it's you again. My boyfriend-"

  "No, he isn't -I don't care. I just wanted to say, you should really watch how you treat people. That and you’re not even that fit."

  "How dare you!" She slapped Danny across the face, and stormed off.

  Pump. Rush. Pump. Rush. Pump. Rush. Diane came running over, and shook him by the shoulders.

  "What happened?" Pump. Pump. Pump.

  "Nothing, it's fine. Let's just get a drink." He pulled out his wallet, ordered two tequilas and a beer, and a gin and tonic for Diane. He carried the drinks over to the table she had picked. Great: a corner table. Now I'm alone with the old cow. But, she didn't freak out and leave... "There you go, Diane. Enough ice for you?" Hopefully it'll help her cool off of me a little.

  "Yeah, it's fine, sweetheart. Now come cozy up down here next to me." Diane patted the space next to her with her left hand, and picked up the drink with her right.

  Or not...

  "I'm fine over here." As he spoke, he pulled out the wooden chair, placed his drink on the table, and sat down. She's not that bad looking from this angle...

  "So, kiddo, who was the broad?" Pump. Pump. Pump.

  "No one. Just some bitch I met earlier." Rush. Rush. Rush.

  "Ah, I get it. She rejected-"

  "She didn't reject me!" Danny slammed his palm down onto the beer-covered table between them. Pump. Rush. Pump. Rush. Pump. Rush.

  "Hey - don't lose it with me, or I'll lose it with you, got it sweetheart?" Diane became cold and stern. Like his mother. Pump. Pump. Pump.

  Danny looked down at the table, and stared for a moment at the shot glasses in front of him. After a brief silence, he handed Diane one of the tequila shots and simply said: "Cheers?"

  "OK kid, cheers". They clinked glasses and swallowed the amber liquid. The burn - that's what did it for him, not the taste, but the feeling of fire running down his throat. The fire calm
ed him when it should have enticed him. But Danny had always been made aggressive by much simpler things than alcohol. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

  Diane pointed at the window to the left of her, "Hey, look: it's snowing".

  Da. Dum. Da. Dum. Da. Dum. She sounded young; as if it was her first snow. Her face glowed in the dark pub. Danny saw (for the first time in the moments they had known each other) what kind of woman she really was: not a stubborn, angry old woman, but a scared girl in need of a friend. Why else do you ask a stranger to go to the pub, if not to avoid going home? Da. Dum. Da. Dum. Da. Dum.

  "I need to go," Danny watched Diane's face darken as he spoke. Feeling guilty, he said, "You know, just because of the snow. I'll walk you back if you like?" Da. Dum. Da. Dum. Da. Dum.

  She shot him a weak smile, finished her drink and stood up. "It's alright kid, I'm getting a cab." She smile again, and grabbed Danny's hand. Diane pulled a pen from her pocket and scrawled her phone number into the palm of his hand. "Give me a call sometime. Everyone needs a bit of company, and I get the feeling you need it more than most". And with that, she walked out. Pump. Pump. Pump. Danny was left sat at the table feeling frustrated. Pump. Pump. Pump. She doesn't know anything about me. Rush. Rush. Rush. He took a mouthful from his drink. Da. Dum. Da. Dum. Da. Dum. I should have walked her home. Cabs aren't that safe. Danny took a swig of his drink and rushed out to follow her, to find she was already gone. He swore under his breath at the snowflakes that landed on his iced skin, and pulled his hood up over his short dirt-blonde hair. Rush. Rush. Rush. It’s only snow. It’s not the same snow. Every snowflake is different. They aren’t the same ones. Danny searched for a lighter in his jacket, before remembering he’d given in to Diane. Rush. Rush. Rush. But they could be. They could have seen it all. They know it was my fault. He turned the corner, bumping into a man in a leather jacket.

  “Sorry, you alright, mate?” The man had a strange look on his face. He knows. Pump. Pump. Pump. They know I killed Emily and Mum. They were there. Rush. Pump. It was the snows fault. I couldn’t stop the car. Rush. Pump. Rush. Pump. I shouldn’t have been driving. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. I couldn’t drive, Mum knew that.

  “You need to practice, Danny, otherwise you’ll never pass, and then I’ll have to keep driving you everywhere.”

  “Emily will pass before you do.”

  “You should have learned when you were seventeen like all the other kids.”

  “No, Mum, don’t let me drive.” Danny stopped abruptly and slammed his back against the outer-wall of the block of flats on Spring Lane. “You shouldn’t have let me drive.”

  Danny began to sob, but stopped when he heard a voice.

  “Oh my god, Jen, there’s some beggar crying. Yeah. It’s a guy. I know right. I feel so bad for him, like, ‘cause it’s snowing and everything. I better go, Joe’s picking me up. Piss off, he’s my brother!” Danny moved to see where the estranged voice was coming from, and realized it was the girl from the pub on the phone. He watched as she put her phone away and moved towards a lamppost. As she leaned against it, she pulled her thin jacket around her, and looked around. They were at the edge of a council estate, in the middle of the night, and it was snowing. Hardly a safe place to wait – doesn’t she know anything about Stranger Danger? Pump. Pump. Pump. The girl fidgeted in the cold but kept looking up at the sky, as if wondering where the snow comes from. If she realizes I’m here, she’s going to go nuts. Danny tried to stand up, but slipped down the wall and crashed into a bin.

  “What the fuck was that?” The girl moved in to the light more, and Danny saw just how young she really was. She couldn’t have been more than nineteen. Emily is nineteen in March. Danny caught himself before he could think about her again, but his grip on his own mind was weak. She was so young. So pretty. Everyone loved her. He looked at the ditzy girl in front of him, and noticed her hair: it shone in the light of the flickering street lamp. She was fair, but not sickly pale, like Danny. When he was younger, his mother was always telling him to go out in the sun and play with the other kids.

  “Who’s there? I’m calling the cops if you don’t come out right now!” Her voice trembled like a crying child. “Now, dammit!” She screeched. Rush. Rush. Rush. Danny walked towards her, holding up his hands in surrender.

  “Whoa, OK, I’m coming out. I wasn’t watching you I swear, I just-." Rush. Rush. Rush.

  “Oh my days, it’s you: you’re the creepy bloke from the pub. You’re stalking me!” The girl stepped back. Rush. Rush. Rush.

  “No, No, seriously I’m not. I was just walking home, I swear.” He lowered his arms, and stepped towards her again. This is beginning to look like a tango. Backwards, forwards. Backwards, forwards. Rush. Rush. Rush. Shut the fuck up, will you, so I can go home?

  “Well then why were you hiding behind a bin? No sane person stalks anyone. You must be some psycho freak. Stalking girls in the snow.” She tried to stand firm, but her legs buckled beneath her and she fell into the quickly forming bed of snow behind her. Rush. Rush. Rush. Not the snow. It’s always the snow. “Will you shut up about the weather? I’m not fucking stalking you.” Rush. Rush. Rush.

  “Yes you are: an attractive woman out by yourself. I rejected you. You thought it would be funny to come and scare me. Well I’m not scared, Freak.” She spat the last word at him.

  “Shut up” The words of a petulant child with no anger but his own. Rush. Rush. Rush.

  “Freak. Leave me alone.” She scrambled back against a wall, and tried to stand up. Danny got closer and closer. Stop talking. “HELP! HELP ME HEL-“Danny covered her mouth with his hand. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum.

  “Shut the fuck up. What are you trying to pull? Flirting with men and then accusing them of stalking you. I bet you’re not even old enough to be in a fucking pub.” He gripped her mouth with his palm; his nails digging in to her milk skin. She’s so beautiful. The girl mumbled beneath his hand, and a warm expulsion of breath tickled his skin.

  “Stop talking. Do you ever stop talking?” RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. The girl tried to scream, which panicked Danny. “Please stop talking. You talked about the snow. The snow hates me. Please, make it stop, please.” Danny sobbed hysterically. The girl’s eyes widened and she tried to scream once more.

  RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. Danny jolted his hand in panic, smashing her head against the bricks behind her head. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. She cried out in pain. Every noise she made was mumbled. She couldn’t breathe. There was blood everywhere. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. Danny pulled his hand away from her mouth and frantically tried to bring her back. He pounded his clenched hands against her silvery top. “Breathe you bitch, fucking breathe.” RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum.

  “BREATHE” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her furiously; her head hitting the wall. Slam. Slam. Slam. More blood. So much blood from such a tiny person.

  “Please stop.” RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. Danny dropped the girl’s body, and looked around for her bag. He pulled out a pink purse and a silver flip-phone. He fished out her I.D, looking for a name. He found a provisional driver’s license. Fuck. She’s sixteen. Oh my god, she’s fucking sixteen. Tears escaped his eyes, burning as the cold and the wet hit his cheeks. “LILY ADAMMS.” He looked from the I.D to the girl. I.D to the girl. I.D to the girl. I.D to the girl. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. RUSH. Da. Dum. Danny dropped the I.D card in the snow. She looks just like Emily. Rush. Rush. Rush. Danny put everything back in the purse, and lay it next to the girl. He placed her blue hands on top of her stomach, and left her to sleep in the snow.

  Chapter Two:

  Danny rushed around the corner, and started to head home. After a few moments of frantic walking, he stopped in his tracks. What if someone saw me? Danny looked around
him, but calmed down somewhat when he realised he was the only one in the street. It made sense: it was the middle of the night. In the snow. Alone. Freezing. She was blue. She turned blue so quickly. And her eyes... Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. As Danny started walking again, tugging his jacket closer in a failed attempt to take the chill off the skin. But he knew the chill had nothing to do with the white snow that surrounded him. All that blood... Danny walked faster as he thought about what he should do. His feet near-running, carrying him home - faithful to him when his mind wasn't. I should turn myself in. I can't just leave her there to be buried in the snow: they might not find her for days. She has a family... The snow whispered to Danny as he trod: Killer. Left the girl in the snow. Snow killer. You hate the snow. Emily loved the snow. She danced in the snow. Killer. You killed Emily. You killed the girl. You killed your mother.

  "No!" Danny panted. "I'm running away from snow! Snow can't talk. What's wrong with me?" He grabbed fistfuls of his hair underneath his hood, and crouched to the floor. The words echoed around his head. They burned like a cold star: impossible anywhere but his mind. He had always known it was his fault, but it was an accident. This was different. This was by his hand. His own physical hand had taken the life of a sixteen year old girl. She looked just like Emily. But prettier. Danny shook himself; this isn’t about Emily, or Mum. This is about that girl. The girl had rejected him immediately. Why? What is so wrong with me? Emily had always been the best of both of us, but I never had any trouble before she died...

  Danny remembered his father's words just seconds after they buried Emily and Sara side-by-side. "You let them smother you. You're a man now; you need to rid yourself of all these ideas of a happy, care-free life and focus on getting a job, making a businessman out of yourself."